I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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