that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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