You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
its not stalking. its research.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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