he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
