are you so shy because you have an std?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
