the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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