I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
