Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
