If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We are two peas in an std pod
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
