It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My balls are so social today.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize