I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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