It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
