Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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