Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
