They should really pass out barf bags in church
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
