I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
