nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
