Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I cannot find my penis.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
