Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
