Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
