he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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