Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
