the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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