So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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