put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
