She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
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