just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
