I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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