exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
