her vagine was all disorganized.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
