I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
