My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
