I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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