Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
