We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm too high and old for this...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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