I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just invented taco cereal.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When did angry sex become our thing?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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