HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My hand turned me down
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
