hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
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