i may or may not be watching the land before time
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
