It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
