Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
