Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
even my farts smell like vagina
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
being pregnant is like rehab
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
