Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Found your dick twin last night
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
