thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
