Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
