All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
