she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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