Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
