I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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