I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Drunk is not a location!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
