drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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