First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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