We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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