im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
