Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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