You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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